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Sat, Sep. 24th, 2005, 08:45 pm
Horray, it's my birthday ....

Yay, more presents. My sisters bought me a Vanilla candle and my Boss (possibly all of the staff) of where I work bought me a cute little watch. :)

I decided to go and see him. I'd been looking forward to because it was my birthday and I needed cheering up 'cause I was ill :(

I didn't know what to wear! I wanted to look nice for him. I thought about wearing my new dress; but maybe that looked too formal. So I decided to wear a pair of black jeans, my Clockwork Orange t-shirt and my chocolate cardigan. I wanted to look nice ... didn't want to go round there looking like a total scruff! I put on some makeup - not too much, though. Just some eyeshadow and lipgloss - oh - and foundation. And I didn't brush my hair :P well, the messy-look is in fashion now ...

But yeah ... so, I put on my shoes, told sisters I'd be about fifteen minutes at the most. I was smiling all the way up to his place; But I was a bit nervous. Why? Hm .. don't know. Then I got to his place. The door was open, and the dogs saw me and started to lick my face and stuff. I called out to him, waited a few seconds ... He came down a few steps, but stayed on the stairs. Looked cute as he always does ... *sigh* in those jeans, which he always rolls up, to make them look like quarter-lengths. - And a t-shirt, with something on it like ... well, I think today it had a picture of that Elephant Indian God ... Ganishu? And I think, (I only got a glimpse,) his hair is back to normal? :D .... Um .. so .. I said with a smile, 'hello.' - and waited for him to say 'Hey!' or 'I haven't seen you in ages!' or something, with a huge grin across his face. But his reaction was ... well, not what I expected. He rubbed his face, kinda gave a tired sigh and a frown. He didn't smile; Just said: 'God ... I've got a fucking hangover ... '

I kinda looked at him, still smiling slightly and said 'Oh ... right.'

Without a goodbye, he slumped his way up the stairs again, leaving me bewildered and confused. The dogs were still excited though ...

I waited for about thirty seconds, hoping he'd shout 'come on up' or something like that. But he didn't. So I just ... walked off gloomily, feeling angry and confused. Haha, I thought he didn't drink? Well, not socially; Just every month I suposse ...

When I got home I felt sad, upset .. My first reaction was 'Right - that's it - I'm never going to see him again; he can piss off and die for all I care!' But realised he had a hangover, his reaction probably wasn't intensional; Perhaps he needs more time to think things through. So I'll leave him for now - maybe for another week. Or maybe a fornight ... or a month? Forever?

But Li wants to see 'this geeza' ... I doubt she will; Not after today. I don't know ... as Dad said, why would he want to know me anyway? I'm just some silly kid, who fancies a cute bloke eleven and a half years older than me. He could get any woman he wants in this world; Even a twenty-three year old accountant or a doctor ... I mean, why would he even want to KNOW me? We see the world differently through our own eyes. Perhaps he went back up the stairs to put on something warmer, then returned to me - only to find me vanished? When I got home ... I was so upset, I started .. crying ... my mind remembered the two weeks ago .. everything was so different ..

But anyway, let's brush that under the carpet for a while! I'm happy today :) I'm ill, bored, not working ... pissed off with a bloke who seems to be avoiding me, or not bothered whether I come to see him or not. Yep, this is the best birthday I've had in about five years I think.

Don't worry Colin xx Luce will get over it ... (Hence the irony?) Colin says I could be the next Doctor Who - but in female form. He says I look like a 'mystery' with a black hat on and those 80s glasses dad's owned for over 25 years ...

Thanks Colin! xXXxxx

x <3

Today I am wearing ...

'Clockwork Orange' t-shirt

Black jeans

White studed belt

Chocolate cardigan

Sat, Sep. 24th, 2005 08:29 pm (UTC)

poor Lucy. We don't need other people to ruin our lives, as we do this so well ourselves. I'm not gonna say anything lecturing, as I have done what you did, too.

Lucy, it doesn't matter, who he could get. If he could get other women, then they are stupid. At least he shouldn't be able to get you. Stop fucking saying, why should he bother about you. You are so much more than this fuckhead. Kick him in the balls next time you see him.

Sat, Sep. 24th, 2005 08:42 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous): I agree

He's not worth it sweetie. Wait for me to come over there. For no one loves you like I do.

You better be there when the Dutchman comes.

Sun, Sep. 25th, 2005 01:19 am (UTC)
(Anonymous): what a dick...

that guy sounds like an asshole. that sucks. well i hope you had a happy birthday anyway! hope you feel better


Sun, Sep. 25th, 2005 12:49 pm (UTC)
earlygenesis: Hi guys:)

It's ok everyone .. I have to learn from my own mistakes.
Thanks for the kind birthday wishes :)
Well Mike, he's better than Gill. Less of a pretty-boy ...

thanks all <3 -hug-